How rudeness undermines resilience

Sally Dooley

Uncivil behaviour in the workplace has long been associated with increased stress and lowered resilience, but one simple antidote has been found to counteract its negative impact. 

A 2011 study established that incivility, or rudeness, at work had increased over the previous decade, with 98% of workers reporting they had experienced uncivil behaviour at work.  More concerning is that approximately half of those also indicated they were treated rudely at least once a week.  And, this had increased by 25% since 1998.

I wonder what impact the stresses of 2020 may have had in the level and frequency of incivility at work? 
So, what is incivility at work?

The cost of incivility to organisations

'Managers at Fortune 1,000 firms spend the equivalent of seven weeks a year dealing with the aftermath of incivility '
Christine Porath & Christine Pearson, The Price of Incivility, HBR Magazine, Jan-Feb 2013
Aside from the psychological and wellbeing costs to the individual, research has shown that incivility is very expensive for the organisation itself.  Unfortunately, not many organisations are willing to recognise this or take steps to deal with the offenders.  

Studies surveyed thousands of employees that had been recipients of rudeness and found that:

48%

Intentionally decreased their work effort

47%

Intentionally decreased their time spent at work

80%

Lost work time worrying about the incident

63%

Lost work time avoiding the offender

66%

Said their performance declined

78%

Said their commitment to the organisation declined

Left their job because of the uncivil treatment

25%

Admitted to taking their frustrations out on customers
Frighteningly It has also been found that not only does rudeness impact the recipients significantly, but those who witnessed the incident can be  negatively affected in similar ways.  

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So, what is the antidote? 
                             
Studies found that workers who daily identified the people, events and things at work they were grateful displayed decreased workplace rudeness as their focus on gratitude increased their capacity for self-control.

 Other research suggests that gratitude also strengthens motivation to behave prosocially, fosters closer interpersonal relationships and enhances feelings of support.
 
As a leader how can you create a culture of gratitude?

Perhaps prioritising gratitude might feel like a low priority task to you, or 
the people you lead.  It might even feel trite or like some kind of 'pop psychology'.  However, the science from a range of disciplines is clear: gratitude makes a positive difference to high wellbeing and resilience which are strong drivers for engagement and performance AND reduces incivility in the workplace.

A couple of science-based tips for leaders are: 
1.  Be a role model:  demonstrate your commitment by noticing and expressing your gratitude to your team, boss, colleagues and clients.  It can be in person, phone, email or text.  Just do it!  Notice what happens in you as you start saying 'thank you' more, as well as what happens in your team.  Gratitude is contagious!

2.  Make time and space for gratitude:  Not everyone feels comfortable expressing their appreciation, so it isn't something that can be forced.  However, you can create 'low stakes' opportunities for your people to express their appreciation of others.  There are unlimited, creative ways to do this, ranging from a 'Thank You' wall (physical or virtual) to creating a standing item in your team meeting where people can express thanks.  Experiment and find what works for you and your team. 


Think about a time you were on the receiving end of uncivil behaviour at work. 
What negative outcomes did you experience?
What might your leaders have done differently to prevent or deal with the behaviour more effectively?What will you do as a leader to create a culture of gratitude and civility? 

Resources:

Locklear, H. R., Taylor,  S. G & Ambrose,  M. L.,  Building a Better Workplace Starts with Saying Thanks,  HBR, November 2020

Christine Porath, TED Talk: Why being respectful to your coworkers is good for business (click here)

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